Good evening at the 1st off January, 2022.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today was cloudy and rainy, though it was warm for a new year's day. It's not the outback in Australia, but it was about 15 degrees celsius today. For the Netherlands in winter, that is warm. 

*

I have a real new year's resolution: I want to be pretty again. Not slacking myself but being truly pretty and content with myself. 

I have been in a massive black hole off depression when it comes to my looks and I have been abandoning it a bit the previous 4 years because my heart was broken. I don't want to do it for a man or for being prettier than his whore, but just for myself. I want to get myself out off that depression (Which I succeded) and be on the right track again with myself. So far, I'm content. The hairdresser has done well for me, I put on skin cream and mascara again today and I look young for my almost 30. I'm just -be warned- incredibly fat. I call myself 'Au Natural with a doll up off whipped cream.' referring to that skin cream. I remembered today to put on lip balm again after drinking coffee at de Boed's new year's bingo and I'm washed. It makes a diffrence. I don't feel well enough yet to show a picture off myself on here, so I leave it to the reader to imagine me, washed and groomed versus slacking and greasy. 

It's common for mental patients to be ungroomed and I can get annoyed by myself big deal when I'm doing that and I have no power over myself to change it. When your stuck up in yourself, even that is impossible and it's true. 

2022 will be the Chinese year off the Tiger after Chinese new year. (Tiger is a chinese starsign) I will turn 30 this year. It's something to notice and I'm proud off it. If Corona and it's restrictions work with and will be off, I will take my family to a restaurant to celebrate. I don't have a lot off relatives so it's not too much off a thing for me. The year off the Tiger is something to be warned off if you are it's opposite, a Monkey - Which I am.- Tigers and Monkeys are supposed to be enemies. I have a lot off good plans for this year but Corona could be in the way so I might have to cancel some things. I have plans again to enjoy life. After that massive black hole I felt being in. I might have been in love during that period, but I didn't feel strong enough to go after it. I thought he was taken and that kept me off the man in Leiden. I think I did good about that since I wasn't on track enough with myself again to do so. It was a nasty period and I probably needed that crush to soften it's sharpness. But mind me, if I would have found that prince charming, I would have definitely gone after him. I can just say it wasn't the right time and place for it. At this moment off time, I'm working my way back again to feeling better. I finally want to be and feel pretty again a crush worthy. But it's mainly for myself this time. I suppose I need it. 2022 is a Tiger year, but it seems somewhat more promising than the year off the Ox. 

Allright, that's about it- 

Thank you for reading.