Good afternoon at the 3th off April, 2022.

 Good afternoon everyone, 

Today the weather is cold, with wet snow and hints off sunshine exchanging each other. Just before easter, it started to become winter. The upcoming week they promised it would be a bit warmer, but with changing rainshowers so it's not something to be optimistic about.

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I believe the news doesn't do good for me these days. I got incredibly upset about poverty increasing and energy bills and grocery shopping growing more expensive and people having huge trouble to come round. I can't stand such unfairness. We have crisises shooting through the roof and it all made me incredibly angry, even sensing it still today. I don't often watch the news, but yesterday I gave it a try to keep up a bit with national news. It's something that pisses me off. Poor people getting more poor due to war and crisis. I can't do anything about it. I'm as powerless as can be. Actually I'm on a low income either but I'm lucky things are sorted out for me by health care. If I had the choice, I would be in politics for a career but I can't. I'm not healthy enough. I believe I still wouldn't have been powerfull enough to sort things out nowadays and actually be off help to people if I would have sorted that out and done something like that with my life. The crisises are thát big nowadays. I can soften the sharp edges for people on a personal level by providing them home baked goods at de Boed every now and then. That's all I can do- soup making and baking them stuff. I can't make a fist against poverty for real, but it all makes me so incredibly angry. I should keep up with the news, but I think it doesn't do good for me when it makes me feel like this. I feel wrecked by my own anger. I even had a nightmare last night due to it. 

My cake got complimented and I made de Boed's afternoon coffee today. Helping to provide the coffee moment set off my mind a bit, but it's almost as if it's on a level that's bigger than me, it's soul-touching, emotional stirring anger and I stay calm outside while on the inside I can barely describe what I feel. It's like lava in my soul and it's almost spiritual, in a nasty way. I told health care about my feelings, however, as I thought that was needed. I supose it doesn't do good for my mental health. The war in Ukraine doesn't do good for it either. It's a high functioning anger, however, and I can still maintain myself well. I just don't know what damage this lava does and how I'm doing when it's all over. I'm a bit shakey because off all off that. I better moderately keep up with the news from now on. Though I wish to stay informed about the world and economics somehow. But to what personal price? If only I could do something to help people from poverty. But like I said, I'm just powerless. I can't do anything. 

It's as if something inside me got set on fire about this. It's not temporairy, it's more solid anger than that. I don't know what I'm supposed to do with it. 

Allright, that's about it- 

Thank you for reading.