Good morning everyone,
It's the death off night so I haven't seen the weather yet. It's a clear night, though and I expect a clear and bright blue day tomorrow.
*
Tomorrow there will be sand cookies to serve with afternoon coffee. Last week's soup by the way, was a tomato soup receipe I haven't tried before. It tasted perfectly though throughout soup making I was so absent minded I burned the soup pot and had to serve it over into another large pot to make sure it wouldn't be ruined. (I explained myself to the care taker helping me making soup. Luckily she understood) My state off mourning is deep these days. It doesn't keep me from soup making, though as I love making soup each week and next week I will do so again despite it being Kingsday in the Netherlands. (Celebration off our king's birthday) I will make an orange coloured soup for lunch for my crowd. Most off the time, it's appreciated what I make.
I don't feel like taking much part in Kingsday activities this year. As Dutch people sometimes say: 'Het kan me gestolen worden.' ('They can steal it from me.') It's because off being in mourning and joyfull games and loud music won't help the matter. I do feel like eating an orange 'Tompouce.' (A classic Dutch pastry, usually it has a pink icing but during Kingsday it's orange) And making soup. But that's it for that day. I'm glad I can hide in the kitchen behind my soup pot that day. (I'm not a fan off the saying 'get that bitch right back to the kitchen.' As I think women are capable off so many important things, but I love to cook and it's my personal hobby. I suppose I have the luck I don't do it just for one sexist man but for a large crowd off fans who don't force me.) I will head home after lunch as soon as they start the loud music and just come back for dinner.
I'm starting to be a bit forgetfull and I loose my words more easy and I strugle to speak. I'm not in love but these things start to hit me a bit more than usuall. Mental issues like this could possibly be a cause off mourning. But I'm not certain off it. The darkness in me is deep. I feel like a plant with rotten leaves that take a toll on the entire plant. (I'm not a joyfull blooming one. I feel too sad for that) I need to heal them or get them off off me to cure me. Maybe I'm a plant with a disease. Who knows? I've been probably watching Psych2go a bit too much as their main character has a plant on his head. I'm forgetfull, absent minded and I strugle with words. I'm almost becoming a normal person as this is what so many people do. I just hope it doesn't get too frequent or dangerous. I suppose it's part off all these issues that bother me for so long. It's also one off these nights where I can't hit the sleep button in my system. Though I'm full with energy since I've slept well for a few weeks now. It should be in the newspaper I've slept that well. (Sometimes Dutch people say that too: 'Het mag wel in de krant') It should be a big headline for the news. But I'm not done with being mental. I don't know if my broken nights are over from now on. I do know is that it suddenly became a bit better this month. Ladybug Guardian Angel, probably?
Maybe my mind is a bit too full to get to sleep this night. (I hope you read this in the morning and don't dwell on the internet at night, that's why this blog post is a 'good morning.' post.) It's so important to sleep well and keep a healthy sleep routine. I have to get up at 8.00 AM each morning, also during weekends, to get my medication at the office at 9.00 AM so every good night is a sincere blessing to me. I decided I'm going to get my medication and then go back home trying to sleep a few more hours, Usually that's not really possible since I'm usually wide awake when I try that during the weekends, but maybe I'm tired enough to make it work for me tomorrow.
Allright, that's about it-
Thank you for reading.
Geen opmerkingen:
Een reactie posten