Good evening at the 11th off July, 2022.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today was sunny and bright, not a cloud to be near. 

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Today I got sick off de Boed and the foresight to go grocery shopping wasn't a pleasing one, so I escaped to my parental home today. To sit in the sun under my mother's canopy with coffee and have quiet space and nice flowers surrounding me was much more pleasing today. I made the trip by train. Often I go by bus but this time I felt like going by train, after having a cappuccino and a ham-cheese croisant at the station. 

It might sound sad, but when I'm having a cappuccino or a machiato in a cardboard cup at a station, or at a shopping area, I feel like a woman off the world since this is what the working people in New York, Amsterdam and London also do: To have coffee on the go. I seem a bit out off place due to looking weird for being obese, but I love having coffees in public. 

Speaking off which, yesterday I had a cappuccino and an ice cream at a terrace in the sun under a parasol. It was a good thing to do during an otherwise boring Sunday. I had dressed myself nice, put on a hint off mascara and then went for it at that spot. The place is called 'wolfsend.' It's the perfect place to have lunch since it won the award for best lunchroom in the Netherlands recently. I agree it's a nice place. It has a typical Dutch ambiance and it's the perfect place to bring your kids and all kinds off audiences. Not just preppy young people would love it. The only thing is that it's small. It's not suitable for large groups. But it's a nice place, though. 

It must have been years since I had been there since Corona broke out, actually. Before that I got there sometimes to have breakfast on Sunday. Now I re-found the place and had a coffee there, I believe I have a nice spot again to break my weekends when they're boring at home. The ice cream is really good, by the way. 

Life is at the point where I had it up to here. I wish to break out (Especially on boring mondays) and do more fun things and explore things. There has been too long off a time where I have been hiding myself from the world inside my home. It's just that Zaandijk doesn't has many opportunities to go out and do fun things. It doesn't even have suitable supermarkets for it's inhabitants and it's family orientated and touristic. It's far off a lot off things and the bus goes only once every hour. 

I'm not the kind off person to make a fool out off me near tourists to 'prove myself.' Since I usually ignore them. I have the idea a lot off them think off me as strange for being so big. Other than that, I don't have much to do with them but Zaandijk is a bit boring if you have seen that part off Dutch culture a thousand times over. 

The part which is not touristic, is poor. The homes look poor and the streets are shabby. There are kids playing all the time and life gets by quite boring. It doesn't bring you anywhere if you don't own a car. Like me. I don't have a car so it's not easy to get to places. I'm not allowed a car for being on medication. 

The poor part is old fashioned. Potatoes in a lot off gravy, vegetables and meat for dinner, sidewalk chalk by children's hands on the pavement, badly maintained grey brick roads. Homes build close togheter and little space for light. The only positive part in summer and spring is that the government decided to grow flowers for the sake off biodiversity and bringing back insects and bees to the country. You see them everywhere and they are an improvement for those shabby old areas. Other than that it's downright depressing to live there and have walks there every now and then. I shouldn't be ungratefull, It's not like I can afford more off a living than my small flat in a poor area on one side, and an overly touristic area on the other side. 

But practicing gratefullness is hard sometimes. Especially when dinner seemed to become typicall 'Zaans geluk.' (Zaanish luck) As how I call very small luck on a poor scale, (Potatoes, meat and vegetables.) It being served on a Sunday is 'Zaans geluk voor gevorderden.' (Zaanish luck for the skilled) Like this sunday. ) and the day seemed to become boring as hell. So- off to the family I was and it was a good idea. 

I was doing a bit hard traveling here for getting tired along the way, but I pushed through and I arrived here. I often wish I had never moved and never started protected living. The only thing is that I need a bread and toppings for slices off bread for this week since I didn't go grocery shopping today. I think I will manage to buy a bread and some toppings on the way back home tomorrow. So I can have breakfast each morning this week. 'Zaans geluk.' for breakfast. Slices off bread with sandwich meat on top. And a glass off milk siding it. (I drink a large glass off milk each morning) But I can eat, they take care off me and they try to help me. You can't say that about the area I come from. 

Today I had it up to here and tried to escape. Bad thing is that I have to return tomorrow. Tomorrow is my day off, and Wednesday is for Wednesday Soup, so they expect me to be there. (At least I can help my share by making the best soup I can for them each week.) I hope I can permanently escape the area one day and make it on my own. But as far as this mental disease goes- That day is far off. 

Allright, that's about if for now- 

Thank you for reading.