Good evening at the 20th off May, 2019.

Good evening everyone,

I guess 'Lars.' Is the kind off love I won't take real action on. I'm too comfortable with where I live, and too much things have happened in the 'Fantasy world.' for me to ever wish to come back. I'm not up to taking action so far, I don't see myself doing that at all, I guess I just keep loving him sweetly on A safe distance. Untill I somehow feel my time has come, and then I'll make it happen.

I'm pretty serious with it, I'm 5 months in some sort off an infatuation about that guy without taking serious action, I guess it'll stay that way, I'm sorry 'Lars.' 

***
I have finished the owl at the Upcycling shop, it has A cute blue ribbon around it's neck and it's bottom is sewn alltogheter, it looks kinda cute now, despite my doubts about how it turned out A bit at first. I'll come back tomorrow at my Upcycling day care job, to take notes off their meeting, and then I'll take pictures off that adorable owl. (I probably haven't told before, I take notes for the Upcycling meeting ever since the beginning off this year.) 

***

And my period has seriously started to break through. You hear me often about that feminin issue called 'period.' But I think it's actually something you should talk about sometimes. It's nothing but nature, and to have issues with it shouldn't be shoven under the rug.

I'm glad my (male) guardian angel helped me somewhat with this, like expected, as soon as I make noise about it, he's helping me out with health issues, that has happened quite some time now. I'm so thankfull. I think it's some being from another dimension. Or A real sweetheart off an excisting man with magical capabilities. I can't imagine A living man to be so nice and caring about feminin health issues, though. To bleed it out and refresh your inner system sometimes can be quite healthy. 👼 💖 It's A rumour that women live longer because off their bleedings, because the spinal cord is set to work to refresh something in our system. Which is pretty healthy. People who donate blood to provide help to patients in the hospital, (Male or female) also live longer due to that according to recent rumors. (It was something on the news this week, but I can't come up with the source for now.) 

Anyway, thanks to Mother Nature I was born A woman. I don't fear to talk about periods and such. It's nothing but nature to have them. I won't bombard this blog with such tales, though.

***

This was my day for today, I hope you enjoyed reading.

XXX.-
Maaike.

What if...

The earth truly is A place off punishment for war criminals and war victims from other planets, send here to eat and to be eaten- And this entire world is just- villain instead off the planet off learning, god and hope people like to put up about?

The ancient pyramids really are research laboratories put up by Iluminati to research human bodies, one for kings, (Men) one for queens, (Women) and there has never been A pharao buried in there to begin with, but that´s what it was all about?

There truly where humanoid aliens from either the Pleiads, Orion or Sirius, when I escaped from home, and ran to the IJsselmeer beach in 2013? Simply after preventing me out off the future to get real succes in politics and giving me that stamp off being A lunatic?

What if pleiadans secretly do inhabit Venus, and the blizzards which make it impossible for human space gear to land there on that planet are put up by them, simply to keep Nasa from discovering them?
But isn´t it A well known fact that these kind off high developed aliens have been in contact with Washington ever since?

I truly have been an Egyptian priestess or woman off high power back in the days?

I don´t take these things really serious anymore, I´m out off this confusion and I don´t wonder so much anymore about the earth, and what might have happened upon it and why it is the way it is, I´m not after ´truths.´ and ´news.´ found on conspiracy theory sites anymore. I guess I got my common sense back. However, I heard A voice in my head saying that Nordic Pleiadan Aliens and Aliens off most kinds are only into rich, succesfull or incredibly good people, and that they rather leave normal people alone and aren´t interested in them- But I lost contact with that voice.

Haha, I hope you enjoyed reading this.

To have ordered: two cookbooks on hearthy quiches and pies.

It's A bit off A route in between, it's about baking, but these can be used as inspiration for dinner so it's not so bad like, when you ordered A cookbook on sweet cakes and cookies. Still it's the fun off baking.

I have to make space on my cookbook-shelves. I could have saved up A little off that money, but something in me wished to buy myself some nice stuff. I haven't bought A quiche tin, I have to work with the baking tins I already own.

One off my goals is to lose about 50 killograms over the next period off three years, I've given myself some time.

quiches and hearthy pies aren't particulairly healthy foods, with their dough and melted cheese stuffing, but I feel like making one or two for dinner the upcomming period. And I think I won't regret. You can make them as winter-ish or summer-like as you wish to, they're not just suitable for winter (Like something in my head tells me.) 

It was always so nice to eat when my mom made A few large hearthy pies at home for dinner. I wouldn't call it her signature dish, but I can remember her making it when my brother (A 2.10 meters tall guy nowadays) was still A young boy and they made it togheter. I wonder if he still knows that hearthy pie filling mom used to make. It was something very easy with ham, vegetables and cheese.   
Tuesday one off these books will be delivered, and the other one the next week, around the 25th off May.

I hope you enjoyed reading. 

Good afternoon at the 19th off May, 2019

Good afternoon everyone.

I´m having A bit off trouble with this ´Stop-week.´ off my birth controll, I´m supposed to bleed, but the bleeding doesn´t seem to come through, I bleed in small episodes, but the large bleeding doesn´t seem to begin, I know I´m not pregnant, (Luckily) it´s just that this period is A bit... weird and seems to be A little troublesome, I guess. I believe that very nice guardian angel I have in my mind sometimes could help me out. I might sound strange, but sometimes, A very warm man with black hair pops up in my mind and helps me to get rid off physical health issues, I don´t know where to begin to thank him if he turns out to excist for real. That sounds weird, right? Do we, humans, have special angels like that? I have never met him, but I wish to send my thanks to him for everything. As he often pops up and helps me.💖 I feel so thankfull for A being like him who works with my ´health system.´ at times.

As for today, I´m just out off bed and had A few mugs of instant wiener melange to start this afternoon with. I expect nothing to happen on this lazy sunday. I´m thinking off ordering some usefull goods online, so I´ll have ´presents.´ in my mail box next week. That could turn A boring sunday afternoon into A fun day.

A few off these items are books about professional baking, however. To improve my skills in that field, written by famous people who made name with baking, and as far I´ve seen, their books just look nice to flip through and perhaps make some receipes from. So to say, -You have A hobby, or you don´t.-

A bit off thinking out loud: I think one off next week´s dinners will be A self-made quiche, simply to eat my veggies in A yummy way. I could order A quiche baking tin, with A loose bottom which could also be suitable for certain pies. Those baking tins for quiches are often pretty large. At the moment, I only own A few common baking tins. So one more special baking tin could just give it that little extra.

Allright, to the webshops!

I hope you enjoyed reading my weblog.

XXX.-
Maaike. 

 

Good afternoon at the 18th off May, 2019

Good afternoon everyone.

A bit off A rant about some cons when it comes to losing weight.

I wish I had an easy method to loose at least 50 killograms. The previous year, I simply ignored being obese and just put myself on survival mode to cope with my issues.

At this moment, I have this issue where I break down everytime I try to get myself on A (working) diet, and start to eat again, as if something in my system simply refuses. I know this might not be the best time to start A diet, since I started being on my period this week, like I told. If anything, women need snacks to make it through if it's this time off the week, I had A large bar off milk chocolate today, and I'm on (I had about three mugs) instant coffee with A lot off diary and sugar at this moment. I have the plan, now simply to do so is the main issue. And to get more excersise... I probably shouldn't refuse so much anymore if care-takers offer me to walk along with the walking group at times. (Sometimes, that feels like pressure I don't wish to take on my shoulders. Often I'm 'too tired.' or simply feel too lazy to come with them.)

Being tired could also perfectly be A side effect off the Birth Controll I'm on. which is ment to regulate my periods and my hormones, since I'vgot PCOS, and I'm not known with all side effects off having your period regulairly. I've heard it (Both birth controll medicines and being more regulair on your period) can make you feel gloomy, lazy and very tired. So, aside from psychic meds, another issue which makes me exhausted often. But I wished to block out the most simple looking option: enlowering my weight, eat more healthy and excercise more to get myself on A more energetic level. It seems so easy that this is the course when you're as overweight as me. For A Dutch woman, I'm incredibly fat. I've been on fattening medicines ever since I was 19. It doesn't support that my will-power got enlowered either, and simply doesn't give me A fighting or even A working spirit and my mind simply gives up very easy when it comes to losing weight. It's so hard. And pressure is something I'm not capable to deal with. The only pressure I deal with, is my strive to have A fun life and do well and go on with my being in every field off life, in the most broad meaning off this sentence. I love to make people happy in daily life and brighten up their life A bit, (Or simply their daily life mood at that time) usually with good baking or something creative they like. Or with helping them A bit. Which cheers me up since I got their appreciation.

-Be A light in the darkness that surrounds you,- and I'm pretty serious with that, and I have been ever since being in psychiatric aid, and noticed other patients are less- clever than me, I'm sorry to say. I decided after my first awfull intake in A mental hospital in 2013, that I wanted to help fellow patients A bit. Cooking and baking delicious foods for them is one off those things I love to do. I have done so often. And I wish to continue that.   

It's getting A bit hard that way to lose A good amount off weight if being busy with food is one off the things that helps you helping them. (It's also A bit off an excuse to be busy with my hobby, since I love to cook and bake. I can spend A whole evening on pinterest listening to 80's classics and watching receipes.) What did you say? You wish to lose about 50 killograms? But I think brightening up people's life with food isn't the most important issue if you really have that goal. I believe I have to search for foods that are less fattening than my cooking methods are.

Allright, that's it for this evening. I hope you enjoyed reading!

XXX.- Maaike. 


  

Good morning at the 17th off May 2019

Good morning everyone.

Unfortunately, the sports teacher had called off, so the care-taker who takes us to sports called the clients off. Otherly said: I didn't start A sports routine this morning, due to circumstances. There's A next chance next week, though. I have to be carefull with this. bad circumstances make me suspicious.

I felt like making A cheesecake with white chocolate on top and perhaps some self-made caramel sauce on top off that, but something tells me it's better not to do so this weekend. Comming to think off it, I'm about to make cupcakes at work next monday. If I wish for A healthier eating habbit, and not overly stuff myself with sugar, I better don't make A cheesecake at home this weekend. though it's tempting, and I love to bake.

Luckily, this is A decision I can make, and this doesn't depend on circumstances. There are healthier receipes out there, for bakings loaded with fruits and hidden vegetables. But I guess I'll just leave this weekend without any baking, and simply try to choose more healthy ideas.

To have said that, I wonder what to do next weekend.

Thank you for reading,
XXX.- Maaike.

Going to try A weekly sport routine on friday, and see where that leads me.

I decided to sign up for the friday morning gym group Leviaan has. I don't know if it was A bad idea or not, I'll be on my period from tomorrow on, I feel tired often and I wonder why I did so without even owning sport clothes. But hence, I decided I wanted to excercise A bit every week.

I don't know if I have already told you, but I'm exhausted often- Care-takers suspect it to be something serious and decided on to make an appointment with General Practice for me, but I myself believe it could be something physicall I can get rid off with more excercise and healthier foods, and - Something 'scary'-  loosing some weight. All off those basic things might also help me to feel more energetic, and to do all off this instead off gulpin in A lot off coffee sometimes to feel less exhausted, (Which I sometimes do) could even lengthen my life expand. Well, who knows that might happen. I wish to grow about 92 years old in this life (In good health.) So, let's get onto this.

I have the mood to take on An excercise routine, A small one, to start with simply on Friday morning only for now on and somehow I decided I realy will be onto it. Starting tomorrow. I got enlowered on some heavy med which are known for making you drowsy all day, but now it's enlowered A lot, the tired feeling is still there, let's see what A more healthy and lightly more active lifestyle could bring me.

Thank you for reading,

XXX.- Maaike

P.S: I believe I'm about 180 killograms overweight. 

A calm day at work yesterday.

Yesterday I had A bit off an off-day at work, I socialized A bit with people and had A few glasses off water, and nothing came out off my hands, unfortunately. The owl stuffed animal isn't finished to begin with, and I felt no energy to do something. I'm glad it's not an official job for A serious employer, otherwise I would have been fired probably about A lot off times for just hanging around and socialize and just have coffee. (I'm employed at an Upcycling shop in the city off Zaandam, and it's A work place especially for mentally sick / unstable people like me.)

I like how everyone loves me, though. That has been diffrent once, but I've changed and now I'm quite sociable. And how they're very easygoing when it comes to what I make for them. I'm hired to make jewelry, and luckily there's still A rack full off it at the moment in our shop window. I guess I can afford to just hang around, have coffee and socialize A bit with everyone. At times it sells better, at times it doesn't seem to sell at all.

The uppcycling runs A bit of people's charity gifts. We have A lot off free stock we got from nice people who have donated all off that to us. Yesterday, someone came in with A lot off cooking supplies, including some cute cookbooks with A few nice and easy receipes. I took A look in all four off them, and then decided on making my co-workers some easy to make vanilla cupcakes with some easy decorating next week. As you might know, I love to bake and I'm quite good at it. It's not hard for me to do so, and I know everyone will probably like it, I promised to do so next monday to my boss, and I promised to finish the owl next week. (Unfortunately, it wasn't A strong enough goal in my mind to go out to finish the owl's bottom yesterday. But still, I was at my job.)

So, I have some ideas about what to do next week if I'm stable enough to do so. A care taker told me I looked A bit more nervous, and what she told seemed to shock me A bit, that it was as if I looked A bit more unstable at the moment. I hadn't mentioned that myself, I felt as if I was doing actually better at this period. I started to overthink and I began to realize she could be right. I have some issues going on at the moment, though I'm on it with my back support off care-takers. And so to say, sometimes I mention I still day-dream A bit off 'Lars.'  which sometimes still pops up and makes me absent-minded and giggly on A teenage girl's level at times, though I know I better keep him off my mind most off the time. If I calmly sit somewhere, it sometimes comes up and makes my mind A mess. I wonder where that desire to be with him still comes from. I often feel like I can take on the world, but sometimes the world gets the best off me without me even knowing. I should talk about it with my therapist, though... All I know, throughout most scary delusions, is that wanting to be with him is always there, and it's the most true feeling I can defy in this mess. I know it's better NOT to be with someone at all, unfortunately, I would have given him the world so to say, if I could. But I'm not capable to keep A hold on myself at the moment. I'm not in love with him anymore...? No, I'm afraid I still am, but it's become A burden. And it's on A track where it's not really A good, healthy thing anymore, I'm sorry, 'Lars.'

Though, going on with life... I wish my mind could have some fresh air to release some tensions sometimes.

Allright, it's time for A nice bowl off zuchinni soup for now. 😋










 

A pot off fresh Zuchinni / Courgette soup, Good morning at the 16th off May, 2019.

Good morning everyone.


I decided on today to finally prepare the zuchinni soup (I wrote courgette at first, but it's Zuchinni nowadays.) and it's perfectly done now. It's pretty early in the morning, still I liked making it. I love to cook as you all might know. It's A very easy receipe.

2 zuchinni's,
2 large onions,
1 large floury potato
1 clove off garlic
A squeeze off sunseed oil
2 broth cubes
pepper and salt to season

Good for about half A liter or 0.13 or so gallons off soup. (It's quite an amount off soup, for about 5 bowls)

remove the ends from the zuchinni's, cut in small slices, clean your onions and cut in small slices aswell, peel the potato and cut in small slices. Prepare your clove off garlic (Remove the white centre off it) and cut in pieces.

fry everything alltogheter in A frying pan in the sunseed oil, I often use A lot off oil, not only on the bottom off the pot, but over my vegetables aswell, to fasten the process. Adjust salt and preferably white pepper (White pepper tastes A bit warmer / spicier  than the international more common used black pepper. It's the most used pepper in the Dutch kitchen, while most countries prefer black pepper.) It's good if everything has shrunken, then it's ready to boil for about five minutes  in A boiling pot. place it under water and adjust the broth cubes. Let it boil. If the vegetables look soft and the broth cubes are incorporated, it's ready to be pureed with A hand blender (That's the word google translate gave for 'staafmixer.' ) in their pot. Make sure everything is smoothly pureed. let it boil for about five more minutes, and taste if it needs some extra salt or pepper.

You can also use culiflower, brocoli or bell peppers instead off zuchinni's and you can adjust A pray (The vegetable) and / or red onion and / or some sjalottes to your soup. And it's nice with some french bread with A garlic spread off your choice. This is my very easy, most used, go to receipe for soup.

I've tasted it, it was yummy and it will be used for A few lunches during this week.

*** 



  

Mother's day

Good afternoon everyone out there,

I have A bit off A stupid sunburn from sunbathing and relaxing in my mom's backyard,
Mother's day this year is going suprisingly well. I get along perfectly and I'm not in hypermode and getting an attack because off being here, like often.

I gave her A lovely pink and purple flower bouquet which she loves, and we'll be having chinese food with everyone within about half an hour or so.

I decided to get my ass out off the sun and get in to be A little active on my blog.  It's itchy and hurtfull, and luckily I have aftersun and A cool shower at home, so I'll have to go treat that first after I got home. 😅😖

I couldn't get myself to prepare the soup yesterday, I just felt too tired to do so. I just couldn't set myself to do it. (Oh, well, think positive: now I have some courgettes left for making A delicious quiche this week.)

Unfortunately, I have issues with the sun and summer, I burn too fast often. I believe I simply hate blazing summer. And pityfull, it's around the corner these months in all it's glory. Aside to that, I'm quite fat. So having to withstand tropical temperatures A few months A year is absolutely terrible. 

I feel glad things are going well today at my parental home. Usually, it's more difficult to be here and withstand it.

Something is turning the right way now in my mind. Finally.

  

Apple crumble cheesecake, and A nice afternoon with my friend and some neighbours.

It came out very nice, though it's super sweet and It's best not to eat more than err... two slices? I prepared it A bit diffrent than the receipe, though it turned out nice. I'm going to share the other half off the baking pan. (Really, couldn't you get A hold off yourself?) with people at de Boed on monday morning. I hope they'll love it.

It came out A bit messy out off the pan, unfortunately, I didn't grease it, I just used baking parchment. though it was nice to eat. I believe I should have adjusted A pinch off salt somewhere in either the bottom or the crumble at the top, so it wouldn't have been as overly sweet as how it turned out. Still, it's not bad.

I had A nice conversation with my friend, and after A while we went out because I wanted to show her 'de Boed.' But we came across some off my neighbours and we ended talking with them on A garden bench, enjoying company and chatting along accompanied by A cute dark grey and white tom-cat who passed us by, and who craved for being petted and our attention. I love cats, and I loved being outside and having nice conversations more than I thought I would at first. (I refused my friend's offer to go out at first.) The sun felt nice and warm on my skin, and before we knew it, we had A tiny group off people chatting along at our spot, untill my friend had to go home. I love these kind off things. My neighbourhood likes me. This afternoon was so nice. I feel like going outside more, and chit-chat with everyone A bit more now.

All there's left to do this evening is preparing soup and some grilled sandwiches, and then I'd call it A day.

I hope you enjoyed reading my blog.

XXX.-
Maaike. 



  

Good morning at the 11th off May, 2019.

This morning is for baking.

I decided on making that applecrumble cheesecake (which I found A receipe for on pinterest) for A guest comming over for coffee, I have been buisy all morning with preparing. it's quite A large one. I hope it will succeed nicely. It smells good so far. 

I mixed the layer off apples A bit with the upper crumble layer. I wonder if it still comes out well,
I decided on making applecrumble cheesecake since it's to be served with caramel sauce according to the receipe, and I have quite some left from previous week, which can't be storred for A long time so I decided on making something on which I could use it.

We'll have it with A large mug off coffee when she arrives. I will have some slices off it this weekend, (I'm not intending to eat all off it, that would be way too much for me.) and then donate some to 'de Boed' on monday, I hope people love it. That's mainly what I'm up to at this moment.

Edit: it came out nicely out off the oven, I have to wait half an hour untill I can finish it off with my self-made caramel sauce, and then let it set in the refridgirator for at least an hour. I think I'll upload A picture off A slice on one off my cute pastel pink pastry plates once it's all done, and I think it's ready to show to the world. 💖 Luckily, my bakings often come out picture worthy. 

I love being buisy with prepairing all kinds off good foods and taking pictures off it. It's now cooling off on my dining table, and I hope to show it when it's ready.

XXX-
Maaike. 

Good morning at the 9th off May, 2019.

This weekend, I decided, will be for applecrumble cheesecake. I found A nice receipe on Pinterest, and since I will have A guest over for coffee the upcomming saturday, I found that would be A good idea. I'm going to make it on friday, so it will have time in my refridgerator to become perfect.

I have attacks haunting me all the time these days, and I feel somewhat wobbly because off it. I have planned quite some (baking) projects, I hope I won't die before I've finished all off them. 😉

I've also decided to try out my new grill this saturday, and simply make some simple ham and cheese grilled sandwiches and my 'famous' courgette soup which never fails. A simple receipe which has become A classic among my receipes. All I've got to do now, is get on the bus and get that grill and take it home with me today. And do some grocery shopping after coffee time at the Upcycling, situated neer the Amberwood (Translation for Amberhout) office.

I hope they'll serve the finished millionaire's shortbread when I attempt there for coffee.

That's it for today, I hope you enjoyed reading my weblog.

XXX.-
Maaike

An owl, Millionaire's shortbread and A wrong delivery

I almost finished my entire owl, it's very cute, but somehow I believe I could have done better.

It's A bit messy looking, yet my boss told me it was allright.

At first, (I had A little fight with sewing the eyes on neatly) it looked kinda cute like this:

But when I had sewn the front and backpiece alltogheter, it looked like this: 

I have to sew it's bottom alltogheter with A blanket stitch, and then it's finished. It's almost sewn togheter and stuffed. It's just that I think it came out ugly and out off proportion somehow. I decided to call it A day and leave sewing the bottom alltogheter for my next shift at the Upcycling, which forces me to have something to look forward to and A reason to go next week. 

Though I'll probably be there tomorrow allready... I'm A bit off A clutz, but that comes in quite handy, because someone decided to make millionaire's shortbread (A favourite sweet treat off mine) today, which I can taste tomorrow. I looked forward to tasting it this afternoon, but it wasn't finished before my shift was over, and the (Sorry to say, lunatic off A) maker to it simply went off for that afternoon. If I return tomorrow, because off something stupid I did, I hope they'll let me taste some off it at coffee time. 

I had ordered something at Bol.com and I have it deliverd now at the Amberwood office, because accidentally it got send to my old adress. I ordered A sandwich grill, (Tosti ijzer) also suitable for meat. At times I'm this 'brilliant...' I can't help it, such accidents are quite typicall for me at times. But they often sound very funny to share with people.  

I can't finish the owl tomorrow, because I think I'm not allowed to do so when it's not my workshift. 

I wonder what the millionaire's shortbread tastes like, and I've got A reason to go out again tomorrow.     

This is my day so far, I hope you enjoyed reading my blog. 

XXX.- Maaike. 

Good morning at the 8th off May, 2019

Today is for going to my Upcycling job, wich is almost on A volunteer base. It's only two afternoons A week. But I love it and it's A job I can do with my little ratio off what I can mentally handle.

Yesterday evening I made that wonderfull pasta carbonara oven dish, and I love photographing my food, since I'm A pretty good cook. Unfortunately, I was out off spaghetti, so I made it A mix with macaroni and fusili which I had left in my cupboard, and sure it was tasty. I had myself two large plates off it. And I've got some off it left for this week.

At the Upcycling, I'm making an owl stuffed animal out off pieces off left over fabric people have donated to us. I have no pictures yet, but it's such A cute owl. I had an attack yesterday, but fought myself through it - just thinking about that cute unfinished owl that needs me to bring it to life by sewing it's details on, and preparing it ready for stuffing it with the filling off an old pillow  somehow.- and I think it worked. I'm more calm this morning and ready to take on that task today. (I got over my main depression from previous winter, but I'm unfortunately still A psychiatric patient, I fear that will never leave me. But I got over with attacks more easily in this new home.)

Allright, this is it for this morning, I have to was up my dishes and I'm off to the Upcycling shop within half an hour.

Thank you for reading!

XXX.-
Maaike. 

I got over with 'Lars.' - I guess it was just crazy.

I feel it's over. It felt so nice, it was the best feeling in years, but I think it was just about the delusional image off 'Lars.' my mind made up in the delusions about him. I don't even know the name off the actuall guy. I think it's best to leave him alone and not bother him with this.

I wish I could get A hang on my delusions and find out where they come from and see how my brain comes up with that weird stuff. I don't see how I could pluck A stranger from the streets somehow and feel the entire cold winter like I wish to cuddle up and wake up in his manly arms in the morning. I consider myself wise enough to be confused about this strange issue. It was so nice, and that's probably why I didn't want to get over with it. Though I think 'Lars.' is taken. It was something strong enough to take note about on the internet, who knows 'Lars.' reads this, watches my video's on YT and who knows, might have gotten in contact with me if I did that? But that didn't happen. The strong feeling has faded, and I have myself in controll now, though it feels somewhat sore in my mind to think about him now. It was confusing, and I ended up with empty hands and I -probably- made A bit off A fool out off myself by making such noise about him online. Maybe it's best that he didn't contact me. though it would have been nice in those months. I guess it had something to do with my high medicine intake even. I feel sorry for 'Lars.' if I have offended him.

I'm A bit back on (My quick-witted) track, though I have to slow down and take it easy with life. I have less energy and I can handle less than before I had my medicall enlowerment. Though I feel less misserable and paralyzed / confused than the entire previous year so it seems. 

I'm sorry, 'Lars.' I didn't mean to interrupt you and seem odd.

About a Syrup waffle cake, sunflowers and life. Good morning on the 7th off May, 2019

Some highlights off this week so far: 

Somehow, life is getting by nicely. The end off the storm, the beginning off the nice, day-to-day mundaine.

I feel much more at ease in my new home. I made A syrup waffle cake previous sunday,  (Which I shared at 'de Boed.' People loved it and it got appreciated. Which is always good to hear. I love people's appreciation. Sometimes, that's perfectly allowed.) and I bought myself sunflowers yesterday, which look uplifting on my second hand dining table. I love looking at them as they pick me up. I love yellow flowers.

All that will happen this evening is making A pasta (Spaghetti) carbonara dish with extra chicken and A light bake in the oven with some cheese on top. No loud neighbours, and no frights off scary criminal people anymore. I like life that way. My depression is as good as gone now, and I feel relieved.

I have plans to purchase about 4 new dining table chairs this year, which I have to safe up to, and I look forward to my vacation in September. There's nothing more 'frightfull' to life than that. It feels so nice this way if you're used to too much drama and despair. I finally feel at home in my house after having to get used to it, (It worked out well, luckily) and I'm getting by much better. I like drinking coffee with neighbours at 'de Boed.' from time to time, I love my Upcycling job, and I enjoy my hobbies. Sometimes, life is as perfectly easy as this. 😉

I hope you enjoyed reading my blog!

XXX.-
Maaike.