Good afternoon at the 13th off June, 2021.

 Good afternoon everyone, 

It's bright and summery outside. All sunshine and clear blue skies. When summer falls in the Netherlands, it falls good most off the time. I'm glad with the extra light and the blue skies each evening when I feel like relaxing on my couch. It's better than winter or autumn darkness. Rain has it's charm, but not for too long. 

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I picked up on healthy eating again since my weight was increasing this period. I started on eating granola each morning with either yoghurt or milk, and only one plate off food each evening. Aside from more excersise. This morning however, was for a bit off a cheat breakfast, banana bread I made myself yesterday. I had two large slices, one before medication and one this afternoon for lunch. 

With large muggs off fresh coffee and a squeeze off honey on them. My banana bread tastes pretty good. It's not a healthy variety since it contains quite some light brown sugar. And it contains nuts. But it's a cheat breakfast so I suppose it's allright then. The upcomming week I'll be loyal to my diet again by only having granola with a diary product for breakfast. Sometimes I smuggle a bit by eating a lot off granola. But it's more healthy than eggs and grilled ham and cheese sandwiches. I suppose I gained weight on that. I'm fat, every extra weight is a loss I can't take. I have to loose what I gained. 

I've been checked on by a bloodtest recently. I have no obesity diseases like high blood pressure or cholestorol. I'm only low on vitamin D. They found out my mood has to do with vitamin D and being too low on it. It's why I like the sun to be out in the evening. I feel better in general these days while it's sunny. I feel motivated, I have more positive thoughts and I feel the energy to practice good ideas instead off feeling a bit stuck inside myself by just thinking them and doing nothing instead. That's something I do at times, and it's a weird and scary part off medicines. I bale by doing that, but sunlight is my friend. I feel I can't be out for too long, but enjoying more sunlight each day is a pre. 

I had the dream to move to a northern forest with a lakeside and a dreamy forest and mountain surrounding some time. In a romantic wooden cottage somewhere in Canada or Scandinavia, (The USA is no option since I'm not allowed in) with a lot off space surrounding me. But given the fact that I'm sensitive for low sunlight and I don't like the idea to be alone in the forest with myself all the time, I have given up on that a bit. But it's a pity. I would have loved a house Santa Claus would have been jealouse off. (Not with cheap christmas decorations, but for the classic christmas like surrounding) I probably can't manage that. I need my healthcare. 

Two days off weekend in my own house after a buisy week feels as if I'm retraiting. I'm regaining energy and I finally have time to take better care off myself instead off slobbing it out. My house has a light and positive atmosphere I created by intention to keep myself calm and positive minded most off the time. It works to keep everything light and sweet and a bit spiritual with some colourfull accents. When things get bad, I have a positive place to fall back on and it works for me most off the time. It's something I can reccomend most people, not only psychiatric patients: Make your home base a nice place. It does good to annyone. 

I have painted my nails this morning. I have been cutting, filing and polishing them untill nice. 

I need more weekends off from now on for my self-care. My pants are indeed the bald printed ones you see in the picture, and my salon table is A mess. 

Allright, that's about it for now. 

Thank you for reading.