Good evening everyone.
The day ended bright and beautifull. I suppose it's going to be a clear night with a visible moon tonight.
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I happen to have an almost romantic interest in people who only excist in my mind. Is that normal? I have had this strange visions about a guy I don't know but who I think I once saw during new year's eve. The matter has faded away, but at times I still think at it. It's not normal. I happen to have an interest in someone I saw once on the street outside but never saw them again- It's not normal either, but in my head I keep on fantasizing sometimes to a point where it becomes part off my mental health issues. I don't like most common people I meet in real life. I barely have romantic interests in them, unless they pop up in my mind. I don't even infatuate on celebrities. I believe that is part off being on medication- loss off interest in that field in people. But why do I over-act on non excisting men? Just in my fantasy, on places no one ever enters. I believe I should either get over with it, or get a way to deal with it. If I ever get to meet them again and they turn out to actually dislike me- I'm likely to start to feel a bit uneasy around them. I feel like becomming something a bit scary. An ungroomed fat obsessed fan with thick glasses and a mental disease like sometimes known from movies. It's not something cool. I'm fully aware I'm going to end up like that, untouched and all drained and to have become weird by things like this. 'Move along, you hold up the crowd.' What am I to do about this? I know that once I'm set off like this, I'm likely to hang on to this for a long time while actually wishing I could let go but I'm not mentally capable to do so. That's right, I'm mental and never capable to let go off things recently happened in the field off romance.
Most things, even on a level off friendship or family, are too easy for me to let go off. Something's a bit out off balance, but what else is new? Is that love interest in danger? I don't think so as I believe he is rather based on people I think I might have met. He doesn't excist. I shouldn't get nervous feelings from him to begin with. As far as it goes, I believe this person might hate me if he would excist and actually knows me but that's because off my choice in life. I won't say anything more about him. Except that he's a cute, very pale blonde geek with glasses and an australian dessert hat. Who is born a chinese zodiac Snake and he is lean build. He's too certain off himself to be scared off me, And he's charming. I don't believe I have ever seen him for real in my life. I doubt I would have fallen for him if I'd ever meet him for real. Usually that doesn't happen. I call it 'Severe interest in someone.' It sounds like a disease that way and that is, after all, something that IS truly real.
On a positive level, today was the first time I ever had lemon meringue pie. I never tasted it and it was very sweet. It was to my liking but it tasted diffrent than what I thought it would be like. It's nice but it's not my favourite. I had it with a cappucino at a terrace with wooden picknick benches with a nice overvieuw at de Zaan in Wormerveer. (I know most people can't pronounce that if they're not Dutch.) It did well on me to have fresh air, a great sight and nice coffee with a treat somewhere.
Snakes and Monkeys (My chinese zodiac) aren't compatitable. It's not a good idea to dwell on a snake. If he would have been a dragon, that would have been more off a match but he's just annoying. Cute but annoying. But I keep an appropriate distance from the entire scene he's part off according to himself. He doesn't has me hooked enough on him to take action but I hope I made myself clear about it by now. Vana has treated me wrong and thins they can shower me in 'silent treatment.' because off being stuck up with their stupid ego and pride. Meanwhile on the other side off the fight, I started to feel a bit better about life and got up somehow today. I shouldn't cheer too early as this is sensitive. If the man descripted above might excist- don't mention that to me, I won't do anything with it. No matter if he is a secret prince from Sweden with a nice house somewhere at a lakeside. But somehow I bet it won't be necessairy to mention that to uncle Mark.
If there is a prince from Sweden with a house at a lakeside reading this by accident who isn't attached to Vana Events, - You can look up my contact information in my profile. In return, I'm not all that, but who cares. I have little hopes this might happen for real, What I have to offer is not good enough for most people. but a girl can dream. Many a sour old event hag would point at me and say 'whore.' But I suppose their filthy dreadheads haven't met their match either. Or otherwise she lacks a sense off humor on this, which I find even more alarming. (I'm not going to take this back, but as far as the rules off silent treatment go- they're not suppose to say anything about it to me.)
Fighting isn't something that should attract a Swedish prince. But I believe it's not read by any off them.
I have inspiration for a comedy called 'Prountoupaloup.' Starring Johnny Depp as a dreaded pagan who lost a fake police car with metal signs on it a few years ago at a parking lot in a big city they barely know, starring someone playing mentally diseased me being floaty and mental all the time and all the other characters around at one off my previous adresses. 'NATASHA! Where is my car?!' Resembling the Flinstones 'WILMA, where is my car?' (I don't know if that is in the Flinstones, but you got it.) As far as people don't know: I called the city office and they towed away that car. Pagans are weird enough to be off Johnny Depp's interest I hope, and Disney can produce the thing in my imagination, but I believe 'Prountoupaloup.' is not the best title to give to that. Though it's funny as it is. They're never going to get that car back. I have posted video's about it on my YouTube channel and they're a bit stupid (van gisteren) if they haven't found out about that by now. But some dark and weird evening somewhere in 2018 is perfect inspiration for a comedy / drama. As you might know by now, I don't take Vana Events serious after so many years off having to live up to their infantile biggotry. I prefer to make fun off them. Respect them like gods? I don't think so. A towed away car somehow feels like victory to me. What is the clue to that comedy? Know thine enemy, know what you put them up with. And read up on local laws about vehicles before you dump them on the parking lot in front off the hospital. It's sometimes THAT simple to avoid a parking fine. But as Vana has been good at underestimating me, I have been up to date about city office law forms and procedures. I'm mad but I'm pretty sharp on some things. There I would like to keep my inspiration for 'Prountoupaloup.'
Allright, that's about it for now-
Thank you for reading.
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