Good evening at the 14th off June, 2021.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today was sunny and warm. And it felt like a bit too much off a good thing, still I made the best off my day. When summer strikes in the Netherlands, it strikes good. 

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Today was for grocery shopping and preparing my own meal in my home. Without nasty care-takers being on my nerves. I made cauliflower rice with orange and red paprika, a yellow zuchinni, two leeks, an onion and chicken breast. Made to taste with spices and ketjap manis. It was a nice meal and it was healthy. I feel better than when I would have been at de Boed today but it felt lonesome. I finished my meal with 0% fat peach yoghurt. I love having breaks from de Boed every often as it gets a bit too much at times. I feel agressive people and nasty care takers are not the way I want to have my dinner in the evening. Tomorrow I'll have that meal again and I'm glad I made it. 

This morning was for jewelry making and I donated the necklace to de Boed's outlet. Aside to that I just have been doing grocery shopping and had myself tea all day. It wasn't much off a bad day. I wanted to cook with bald colours and I did so. It's a certain wisdom/ science that having a lot off colour on your plate is healthy. I love preparing meals with a lot off bald coloured vegetables. The supermarket had an action on yellow zuchinni and orange paprika's. Aside to other healthy and bright vegetables I'm eager to try. Graffiti eggplant. It's an eggplant which looks like it's painted purple and white with a graffiti spray. It looks cool and I'm used to vegetables so I don't mind a bit off a bitter taste that might come from it. Like eggplants usually do. A bald coloured ratatouille is most off the time a great dish and it's healthy. I like to prepare mine with paprika sauce and chicken minced meat instead off tomato sauce and common minced meat. Sometimes I prefer paprika sauce on places where tomato sauce is required. On pasta's for example. I can reccomend farfalle with paprika sauce and chicken minced meat aside to the other vegetables. It's delicious. 

I'm on this point again where I'm preaching about vegetables and colours, but it's mainly the question if I will stay on this point. I have to be honest with you. I wonder if I'm strong enough to do so. It's preferable to keep on watching my weight at this point and start a lifestyle change like the psychiatrist recommended last week. I cheer for healthy eating, I believe in plant based foods. But I know myself. The mind is strong, the flesh is weak. I'm not a christian but I know this is written in the bible. Not the salad bible but that's mainly about plant based foods. My flesh is strong when it comes to prudity and celibate living in psychiatric health care. I keep my distance from men to stay where I am in life. But when it comes to food... I'm not as strong minded most off the time. 

I've got mainly sweet tooth. I'm not the kind off person to go after junkfood. Some people like to see me that way but that's not true. Sometimes it takes sugar instead off salt to get me. A spoon full off sugar instead off rubbing in salt on wounds most people prefer not to see. I have to loose weight, however. I'm motivated to do so this summer. I even believe in eating less meat to safe the planet. I'm not vegan or even vegetarian, but every often a good replacement for meat can't do bad. I can't do without eggs and diary, however. I love to make great desserts and that needs diary. Safe more cows, don't eat them for their milk? 

I still see weird faces in trees or at plants, or on places where they shouldn't be. Sometimes it's the same guy showing himself at me and being charming and funny to me. It's a good person doing that in my mind. It's not healthy but it's good company. The tree next to my house is the place where I spot most off the weird cartoonish faces in the branches in winter and among the leaves in summer. It's less when the tree is bare, But it's still there. I see the same faces most off the time, but sometimes branches look strange and have become new faces, or I see new things in the tree. Mainly angry looking masculine elves looking down at me in dispice. A mean blonde princes and something that looks like Elizabeth I looking nastily down at me. A crow with a bandana, another version off that crow, and another version off it in the same face but then with diffrent eyes- It even has expressions at times. Trees are living things but seeing faces in the way their branches are drawn among the air in winter is not healthy. I start to see it at more places, and the bald colours off flowers everywhere seem more vivid to me. I love bald coloured flowers. I'm not crazy when it comes to that, just a bit sensitive for it's beauty and that is nature at it's best. 

I prefer the trees being all green and appearing lively like these months compared to all bald in winter and seasons around it. Is the tree telling me something? I wonder. I barely know if the answer to that is yes. I have been hiding myself from a certain crowd for a good reason. I believe I did good on it. I don't have to live up to their immature and cruel meanness. Especially when I still think I was right all along and that made me do everything. I'm still alone in the world, but at least I do what is right in my eyes. 

Be brave, Be honest, Do the right thing- always. 

Allright, that's about it for now. 

Thank you for reading.