Good evening at the 6th off July, 2021.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today is cloudy and it finally rains a bit. It's windy and stormy outside. The evening is bright and sunny. 

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I wish I was in charge off my own kitchen instead off having to eat at de Boed, but maybe I will organize a cozy dinner at home with nice people and make them a nice meal with a dessert. Before Corona I used to do that every once in a while. My friend with who I used to do that isn't alive anymore. I have to get out off my shell and look for other company for it. I have a lot off fellow clients and care-takers who like me enough to come to have dinner with me every once in a while if I'd ask them for that. It might be solved that way. 

I feel a bit moody today and I don't know why the gloom has returned after deciding to take more effort on myself. Better dressing, better hygiene and I take more vitamins. Still some off the sadness has come back and I don't know if I can call it a depression if I feel like that but it's close to it. The eye off the storm, a place in between time and space where I felt a bit better and got up again has faded but I'm still motivated to improve my life. As it's important to give it your best every day.   

While, as I came back from dinner at de Boed, my mood improved. I feel relieved and better spirited. I don't know why. Outside the clouds have gone and so has my bad mood. Life is improving for me at the moment. I have a new job. I'm a jewelry maker at a small attelier somewhere in Wormerveer, at a beautifull location nearby the river de Zaan. It's a place for handicapped people to have a way to fill in their days and it's small and cozy. I got appreciated for making my jewelry there. It's not demanding and I made my work hours easy and capable for me to keep on doing. I feel so much better about life while I got a job that appreciates me at a spot close by a barista where they serve coffees and treats. It's where I had lemon meringue pie for the first time and today I tried their iced coffee. I had two servings. I love having coffee at cool spots every often. It's what makes a day. Being one off those edgy young women at a barista every often. I don't know why. I love to feel like I'm still cool at times. I'm almost 30 after all. In two years I'll be 30. This year I'll turn 29. They say life starts at 30 and gets only better after that age. I hope that counts for me just as good. When Marilyn Monroe turned 30, they told her women after 30 are the most beautifull women. I'm far from a Marilyn, but I hope someone will tell me that. I like to stay positive about it, however. I don't feel old but I'm not one off those women who it's given not to look their age. When I look in the mirror I look my age and no younger or older than that. I look 28. Sometimes 30. I'm after youth, however. I wish to look young and fresh and a bit artistic. I got that urge already and I'm afraid it will grow over time. I'll be 29 in a month, at the 5th off August. 

I shouldn't complain I still have pimples and work hard to get rid off them. Hahaha. There's nothing wrong with self-mockery at times. It's more healthy than to grow an immature ego I believe. If we can't laugh at ourselves, we are in a terrible state off being we should fear. Prick through your ego and learn to laugh about yourself. (~My advice to everyone.)  Don't take life and yourself too serious. That's not healthy. 

Having bot pimples and wrinkles on your face might be awfull. So to me it seems. I refuse to wear foundation every day so onto moisturizing skin creams. I found when I do that, my face leakages seem to be less. Moisture regulating skin cream helps me from preventing fluid streams underneath my skin somehow. Taking care off my skin solves a problem. It's a whole lot less than it was some weeks ago. General Practice couldn't find anything. But technology is behind on that. They should invent a machine or probably a phone app to look underneath skin at hand immediately. I believe such a tool can be incredibly handy for a doctor. I don't mean anything sexual with this, it should be used for medical purposes by a specialist only. Not everyone is suitable for an app that can spy underneath clothes. A few weeks ago I thought I was going to die by this. I still wish I knew what that fluid actually is but I believe I might never find out with the current capability medical specialists have unfortunately.   

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.