Good evening at the 28th off May, 2024.

 Good evening everyone, 

It's rainy this evening. 

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Today was for a small trip to Amsterdam, it's nearby and I can reach it by public transport. It was fun being there and walking around, taking some cool pictures. 

I had quite fun, and had some Starbucks Frappé on forehand. This afternoon wasn't too bad. It was by far not boring and bourgeoise, but finally something fun again. 

I think I'm not over with Ed yet, everytime I think about him, my mind crushes harder on it than the slush puppy machine. Making a soft drink out off the hard ice. He's sooo interesting. But I can't. I never could and I never will be able to be with him. I'm not a man, I can't be in denial. That'd be too harsh. I can enjoy these warm, fuzzy feelings. But I can't go after them. Sexy Ed, with the interesting take on life...  And me, a psychiatric patient with a delusional crush. (I suppose it's delusional.) But at least the day was good. It was nice weather in Amsterdam, I hadn't been there for a long while. And the Frappé was good. Though they wrote my name wrong on it... 

Starbucks employees should take a course in understanding names correctly. Or I should pronounce more clear. I don't know what it was. 

I have been checking out fashion on the streets off Amsterdam. It's mainly black, simplistic and a lot off denim. Jeans and jeans jackets for almost everyone. It's the early 00's but somber. (I think it let it describe that way.) And with more natural and simple make-up. As if this is the Karma to the 00's to have been too cheerfull. Too bright and loud. But people seemed tolerant and nice. They did not mind about me being fat in public.  I had no nasty comments on myself. So it's a big plus to today. Amsterdam is tolerant. For someone with a crush, I could make more work off myself, I wasn't even washed. But I'm trying to get over with it. I had Domino's pizza for dinner tonight. I'm still not well enough to cook. I decided, if I don't look shamefull in public, it's enough,- I'm going to reject and not make a circus out off it. 

It's as if the world in Amsterdam agrees on that. 'Let's look not too shamefull, but not fancy anymore.' We come out off an era with such luxurious looks, it's something to mention about people. Maybe they're all about to reject their crush... maybe it's a mass hype. But that's just a silly thought I have. 'Appropriate, somber 00's, humble, black, jeans.' And nothing too fancy. That's how it let it be descripted. I think fashion is not hard these days. But that's my opinion. People are aware it's a crisis. But at least they don't look streetbrick- poor and ungroomed. I just had to see for myself how people looked. It was a good day. 

I'm going to end this weblog here, otherwise it's a lot to read. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.