Good evening at the 6th off May, 2024.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today was moderate warm with soft sunshine. 

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This morning was for mildly sunbathing at de Boed's terrace with a senseo mug off fresh coffee. 

I wish to make the point during this crisis, that despite everything, to sunbathe and to sit in the sun with a hot drink, is still free. To enjoy the sun is still free, and even available for the poorest. It's still possible on a low budget, just a small hint. I can especially recommend it in the morning. There's almost nothing better than that. 

I removed all predicitions, simply because it's all unclear and vague again, and I don't want to look stupid when it turns out diffrent than I predicted. I don't want to share false information or look like a charlatan. So I decided to remove all off it. For sanity and peace off mind sake. If I could predict the future bright and clear, I could make a career out off it. But I better don't. 

I'm not doing so well from this crisis, it's stressing. I do bad sleeping, it's spinning in my mind, it's worrysome and it's driving me insane, Though this evening I can handle myself. I worry about the poor. In this country, it depends by person and the place you live if it troubles you a lot, mildly or at all. But I feel with the victims to it. It's hard being very poor. And having no home and still live at your parents' when your around my age. We have a massive housing crisis in the Netherlands. A lot off people still live at their parents' because off lack off homes for them, and we're as full as can be, and to build new homes is blocked due to nitrogen limitations from the government, lack off money and materials. It's pretty hard for them. I have the big fat luck to live on myself, though this is a very small care home and I'm on a low income. 

Like I said, in a healthy country people would not envy me, but during this home crisis, they're even jealouse at this. Which I think is not adjust for a sane and rich person my age with good health. It's kinda desperate. And given the inflation, more than half off the people my age (Around their 30's) can forget it. Millenials and generation Z here mostly still live with their parents. 

I decided I can't help what I got compared to them, but feeling with the real poor... good grief, man, I'm too empathic about it. I think most people in this country don't really have issues with the crisis. But I haven't seen the scientific marks about it. Somehow I believe most working people do well. People on minimum wages and governmental wages do worse, but I believe the biggest part off this country consists off well-paid workers. I wish to believe that, though. But I think we'll find out about that later, how much people are actuall crisis victims. 

I just wish it could hurry up somehow and the whole circus we're in would end ASAP, so the real poor can finally breathe again. I wish the country would work appropriate again, and handle it's own procedures well and fast, and build homes for all the homeless parent dwellers. It's almost as if nothing is possible anymore from the government if you ask them. You have to either wait for a lifetime or it's simply dismissed. It's on it's ass and it's not preferable for a modern country like the Netherlands. 

My mental worries would dissolve a bit better if it all would be solved and the thing called government would work again appropriate. Aside to price increasement to end. And to be turned back. My mental issues are not mild about it, and I just can't see a clear end to it. It's so hard. Care takers keep on telling 'we have no influence on this, seek distraction off some sort.' But that works to a certain point, and my head is full with worries. So to watch or read media is too much. To be on the internet works. To listen to those golden oldies on YouTube works, It's the most populair style these days, and I live among people who had their era during the days when it came out. So they love me for it. And I love the golden oldies station they always have on at de Boed. It's my parents' music and I love it. But aside to cooking food and pop classics, I have little distraction. I feel like such a normie. But normies have hobbies. And watch movies a lot and read. And I simply block on that point. I don't watch or read the news anymore since my head feels so full. It's too much. And I think baking with my Nordic Ware too regulair is not appropriate during this era. Hopefully there's a time after this, where to bake with it doesn't feel like such an issue anymore. Feelings off guilt, probably. Simply the feeling off wishing to be a good person during this era. 

Though I decided to prepare de Boed a strawberry quark tart for Mother's day. I'm doing a cure for my health, so I won't be there during that day, but to mention the day I will make them something nice with their afternoon coffee. Some don't have a mother anymore, or have issues with their mother. But I hope they can appreciate a light slice off cake. I think I'm going to do hard, but I got this medical cure I have to take during that day. So I'll attempt there later on. I got a jar off cherries on the shelves I can adjust to it. 

Maybe I take on it a bit too simple with my poor girl items and behaviour, but I have this idea I can't do better than with this. There might be tons off normal girls still dwelling in luxury, but I'm not one off them. I'm not desperate, I can still handle it, but with sobriety and frugalness. I don't dwell in luxury. Just keeping my head up, and be gratefull the sun is mild and favorable today, and my plain shirt was kept clean (Not spoiled a stain on it!) and my teeth are still clean and steady in my mouth. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.