Good morning at the 10th off May, 2024 2.

 Good morning everyone, 

Today is sunny and bright, but not too hot in the Netherlands. It's lovely. 💖

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Last night, night service arrived at 2.30 AM, and gave me my emergency pill so I could sleep a few hours untill 07.30. I haven't slept much. I try to take it easy today, so no grocery shopping for me. It's not an utmost need, I just had the idea to go grocery shopping simply to have something to do today. At the usuall boring Ascension weekend. But today is zombie style keeping at rest all day. Simply to have coffee at de Boed's terrace this morning, and not being over-active. The medication is too much in the way for that, usally it works for 12 hours. So, I probably come to live around 14.30 P.M if it's right. A few steps back and taking my rest today can't be too bad. It's exhausting to be over-prickled about war and tensions. It takes up a lot off me. 

It's not preferable for a mentally sick person like me. Though my care takers say it's somethng we can't control, it's something that goes automatically. Simply to be concerned and to care. They say I should lay it beside me since we can't control this. But it's usually too difficult. I'm not the only one who probably feels traumatized, in a relatively safe country. I have the feeling it counts for a lot off people who feel with. But the real marks about this era are for later on, probably. I just think they will be depressing, shocking and idiot. How can a modern world fall to such despair? But appearently, it was possible. It's something to think about, if something is possible, it doesn't mean it should happen. But that's when you put that scentence in the negative. Negative scenario's are possible, but that doesn't mean they should happen for real. And somehow a lot came true these years. 

I wish I could keep my personal distance to it, but some things go automatically when you're concerned about things. I'm just a human, I'm informed about the world, I can't help it. I'm not a normal distant young person. Maybe normal people keep their distance better to it. I can't help thinking they're cold hearted, but it's what they do. I'm a bit out off the ordinairy when it comes to being normal. But to keep your personal distance to everything would be a blessing to me these days. Either that, or it simply being solved. But that's not in my hands. I wish I could take care takers' advice by heart. But it's sooo difficult. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.